use this space to post your thoughts, secrets, issues, confessions, and demons. this is a judgment free zone; no names necessary. you are not alone. live to tell.
I have a similar place called Writing for Recovery, if anyone's interested. No judgment, just information and stories and a place to share. www.writingforrecovery.wordpress.com. I love what you're doing here, and will link to this on WfR, if that's cool. Peace.
By the way, I also was molested and raped by my father as a child. And I struggled for a long time with how to feel about him. Same deal with my sister. You're not alone with that one.
I'm commenting about the story about Bill Zeller. I read his letter, and as soon as I began reading, tears fell down my face and I cannot stop crying. I broke down even more when he said, "I really wanted to be a father." I am so angry. Not at him, but that he had to endure that abuse and it affected him in such a horrible way that he had to take his own life. I want to attack the darkness that hurt him, because it took everything away from him! All his possibilities, all that he could have been! I don't even know this man, and I feel like my heart has just been crushed. I want to just call out to him and tell him "No, you're not a monster. It was not your fault. And you shouldn't have had to bear it alone." It is just so upsetting to me that this man, this twenty-seven year old man, a life barely lived, is over because someone hurt him. It just makes me sick, and angry, and so, so sad.
I'm not angry at him for taking the backdoor out of life. I just wish that's not what he had to do. I hope that he is in a better place now and that he can sleep soundly and rest his head peacefully. I hope that instead of being surrounded by darkness, he is surrounded by light.
I battle (on a moment by moment basis) the feelings of self hate, sky soaring confidence, sadness, happiness, disappointment, hope, love...but most of all why. Why am I here? Why do I feel this way? Why does life only seem to get more complicated and at times nothing but a burden. Why am I seemingly wired differently from others? Why do I build walls, and sometimes not. Why do I wear this badge of shame? When will my darkness turn to light? When? Why?
My brother and cousin sexualy abused me together. I hate them. I will always hate them. They both have kids now, and it makes me sick to think that they might hurt them like they hurt me. Its so hard going to family get togethers.
One day I'll tell my mother, as she deserves to know. But not just yet.
Its been 20 years. I will never forget. I will always always hate them.
OMG this website is amazing. I have wanted to tell my secret for so long and I see that people here went thru the same thing. I was molested as a kid by my sister and I hate her so much. I want to tell my mom but 20 years later what is the point?
Thank you so much for this fantastic resource! There are so many different people and situations that need support in this type of medium...no one really quite knows what others are going through or what they really need help with. Thank You!
If anyone on here would like resources to help such as RAINN or other organizations, follow the link on the side to Writing for Recovery. There you will find links to all kinds of different resources. Just putting that out there.
My father molested me when I was a child, and I still love him.
ReplyDeleteI drink so much sometimes I can't remember what I did the nite before n I'm only 17 years old
ReplyDeleteI have a similar place called Writing for Recovery, if anyone's interested. No judgment, just information and stories and a place to share. www.writingforrecovery.wordpress.com. I love what you're doing here, and will link to this on WfR, if that's cool. Peace.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I also was molested and raped by my father as a child. And I struggled for a long time with how to feel about him. Same deal with my sister. You're not alone with that one.
ReplyDeleteI'm commenting about the story about Bill Zeller. I read his letter, and as soon as I began reading, tears fell down my face and I cannot stop crying. I broke down even more when he said, "I really wanted to be a father." I am so angry. Not at him, but that he had to endure that abuse and it affected him in such a horrible way that he had to take his own life. I want to attack the darkness that hurt him, because it took everything away from him! All his possibilities, all that he could have been! I don't even know this man, and I feel like my heart has just been crushed. I want to just call out to him and tell him "No, you're not a monster. It was not your fault. And you shouldn't have had to bear it alone." It is just so upsetting to me that this man, this twenty-seven year old man, a life barely lived, is over because someone hurt him. It just makes me sick, and angry, and so, so sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm not angry at him for taking the backdoor out of life. I just wish that's not what he had to do. I hope that he is in a better place now and that he can sleep soundly and rest his head peacefully. I hope that instead of being surrounded by darkness, he is surrounded by light.
I battle (on a moment by moment basis) the feelings of self hate, sky soaring confidence, sadness, happiness, disappointment, hope, love...but most of all why. Why am I here? Why do I feel this way? Why does life only seem to get more complicated and at times nothing but a burden. Why am I seemingly wired differently from others? Why do I build walls, and sometimes not. Why do I wear this badge of shame? When will my darkness turn to light? When? Why?
ReplyDeletethey've been shooting rockets and mortars at us every day, and now I want to kill them.
ReplyDeleteMy brother and cousin sexualy abused me together.
ReplyDeleteI hate them.
I will always hate them.
They both have kids now, and it makes me sick to think that they might hurt them like they hurt me.
Its so hard going to family get togethers.
One day I'll tell my mother, as she deserves to know. But not just yet.
Its been 20 years.
I will never forget.
I will always always hate them.
OMG this website is amazing. I have wanted to tell my secret for so long and I see that people here went thru the same thing. I was molested as a kid by my sister and I hate her so much. I want to tell my mom but 20 years later what is the point?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this fantastic resource! There are so many different people and situations that need support in this type of medium...no one really quite knows what others are going through or what they really need help with. Thank You!
ReplyDeleteIf anyone on here would like resources to help such as RAINN or other organizations, follow the link on the side to Writing for Recovery. There you will find links to all kinds of different resources. Just putting that out there.
ReplyDelete